DEFINING A DAD,
PATERNITY AND CHILD SUPPORT
These activities represent most of Lesson 2 from the 4-Lesson Dads Make a Difference Middle School The Lesson was designed to be delivered to 7th or 8th graders by trained High School Peer Educators, in a male and female pair. Adults who have purchased the curriculum are teaching it themselves to middle school students.
The program is appropriate for a variety of youth venues; a staff member is presenting it in Juvenile Detention settings. The curriculum is Copyright copyrighted 2003 by Concordia University Saint Paul
Contact: Jan Hayne, Program Director
Dads Make a Difference TM
Phone: 651-603-6312 Fax: 651-603-6327
hayne@csp.edu www.dadsmakeadifference.org
DEFINING A DAD
10 Minutes
1) Invite the first three volunteers to the front of
the room. Hand each one a label: biological father, legal father, or dad.
State: Remember the children we introduced you to in Lesson One? Each child
had a father who played a different role in the family.
2) Hand out the definitions of the three kinds of
fathers to three different volunteers. Ask the volunteers to match the
definitions to the father in the front of the room.
3) Check with the class to see if they agree the
definitions are correctly matched. Make any necessary changes.
4) Introduce the definitions of father.
Biological father —
the man who genetically created his child from his sperm
Legal father — the man responsible
for his child legally and financially; includes an adoptive father
Dad —
the man who nurtures, guides, and supports his child
Ask: Can a father be more than one of the
definitions?
Invite the fourth volunteer to the front of the
class. Hand him the Responsible Father nametag. Tell the class you are
now going to build a responsible father using the best parts of the father
definitions.
5) State: Some day you may choose to be a
parent. It is important to begin defining and thinking about what kind of
parent you will be. Remember you can't control your past but you can plan for a
healthy future.
What does a Responsible Father look like?
Write down each description on Post-it notes to tape onto the Responsible
Father as you create them.
Sample answers:
• waits to have a baby until he is
prepared to support his child
• establishes legal paternity
• works together
with the child's mother to parent
• provides love and guidance
• never
hits in anger
• shares
with the child's mother in the financial support
6) Ask: Why do we focus on fathers
and not mothers?
• Mothers are easy to identify
because they give birth.
• Many children do not have fathers
active in their lives.
• Men sometimes don't have good
role models in their lives to teach them how to be good fathers.
• Women sometimes make choices to
exclude the father or the father chooses not to be involved.
7) Collect the labels and ask students to
return to their seats. Keep the Responsible Father name tag on the
student volunteer for a later activity.
• A dad does not have to live in
the home to nurture his child.
• Fathers play different roles in
families.
• By supporting them emotionally
and financially, all fathers can positively influence their children.
HOW PATERNITY
IS ESTABLISHED
Paternity only needs to
be legally established when the parents are not married.
- The signatures are voluntary.
- The form may be completed anywhere, but the signature must be
notarized.
- If the parents are over 18, the ROP has the same effect as a court
order establishing paternity.
- If one or both of the parents is under18, the ROP only assumes
parentage.
- Custody and parenting time/visitation issues are not addressed in
the ROP.
2) Parents can go to court to establish
paternity.
- A judge decides who is the biological father.
- Genetic testing can be done if one or both of the parents is unsure
who is the biological father.
- Custody and parenting time/visitation issues are addressed in the
court order.
- Child support is often set in the paternity court order.
ACTIVITY: PATERNITY BENEFITS
10 Minutes
2) Write on the board: Benefits of
Establishing Paternity. Make three columns under the heading. Label the
columns: Child, Mother, Father.
3) Hand out Paternity Benefit Slips
to different students in the class. Ask them to place the benefits under the
child, the mother, or the father column on the board. These benefits assume the
parents are not married at the time of birth.
Paternity Benefit Slips
(Each slip you make should contain one of
the bullets listed below.)
Benefits to the mother:
• the
right to ask for medical support for the child
• knowing she isn’t the only
person responsible for raising the child
• the
right to receive child support payments
Benefits to the father:
• the
right to ask the court for custody
• the
right to ask the court for parenting time/visitation
Benefits to the child:
• access
to Social Security, military benefits, health care, any inheritance, and other
financial benefits
• child
support payments
• acknowledgement
of the right to see his/her father.
4) Ask the class
if there are any other benefits we can add.
5) Summarize: Establishing paternity has many benefits for the child,
mother, and father. Paternity is only one of the key components of responsible
fathering. Can you name the other three responsible behaviors?
• waits to make a baby until he is
prepared emotionally and financially to support his child
• actively
shares with the child’s mother in the continuing emotional and physical
care of their child
• shares
with the child’s mother in the continuing financial support of their
child
6) State:
Responsible fathering is just part of the
equation. What is the other variable? (responsible
mothering) Mothers need to include the father in the raising of their children.
We know there are times when it is not safe for a child to have the father
involved if he has a history of abuse or addiction. However, moms and dads
working together can only benefit the child. This is called co-parenting.
Co-parenting is when both mother and
father, whether living together or not, collaborate as a team, using their
strengths and skills to raise healthy, well-adjusted children. In the next
activity you will meet John and Marita. Although not
married or sharing a home, they are working together to raise their daughter.
ACTIVITY: PAYING CHILD SUPPORT
15 Minutes
1) Ask the class, what does child
support mean?
2) In addition to being money paid to
support children financially, it also represents what a father and mother
should do to support their children emotionally, physically, and psychologically.
The only thing the government can effectively monitor and manage is the money
paid to support children.
3) Read the facts about child support
enforcement.
a. Child support is money paid by the
parent who is not living with the child for housing, food, clothing, utilities,
and basic living expenses.
b. In
c.
4) Ask the student who wore the Responsible
Father label to come back to the front of the class. Introduce the class to
John.
State: John is a responsible father in
many ways but his life is not easy. John is 22 and not married. A year ago, he
fathered a child with his girlfriend, Marita.After the birth of his daughter, Anna, John signed
the Recognition of Parentage form. He is the legal father of Anna and is paying
child support. John works the second shift so he is able to take care of Anna
during the day, while her mother works. He recently finished a water babies class with her and often spends time with her at the
local park. John lives on his own and has a full-time
job making $9.00 an hour. Let’s figure what John must pay for child
support and how much he has left to live on.
5) Use an overhead of the Paying Child
Support worksheet while handing out a copy to each student. Ask them to fill in
their worksheets based on John’s income. The key is listed below.
Calculations for John’s child
support payments:
- After he pays taxes and deducts his
$90-per-month health insurance, John has a net monthly income of $1080
- Number of children for this order 1
- Percent of income for child support 25%
- John’s total monthly child support $270
6) State: Each month, John will
have $270 deducted from his paycheck for child support.
(This amount does not include payment
toward child care expenses. If the mother of John’s child has child care
expenses because of school or work, John would have to make a contribution
toward those expenses.) After the child support deduction, John has no more
than $810 left each month to live on. Is that a lot? Let’s see how long
the money lasts.
7) Ask the class for nine volunteers.
- Pay John the $810 in play money and give him thecheck
for child support. Each of the other eight will play the role of a person
in John’s life.
- Give each of them one of the Cost of Living cards.
- Have them read the cards to themselves.
- The student with Card #A (Marita) will
approach John and read the card out loud.
- John will hand Marita the child support
check and then the person with Card #1 will continue as John pays the
necessary money.
- The students go in order of their card numbers, collecting their
money. After each one, John counts the money he has left.
A)
A) Marita, mother of their daughter, Anna $270 – “Thanks,
John for being a responsible father.This money will help
pay for medical insurance, diapers, and food for Anna.”
1. Landlord — “Hey,
John, It’s the first of the month.You owe me
$420 for rent.”
2. Banker — “I am
the Bank Officer, you owe me $50 for that ’89
truck.”
3. Insurance Agent“I am the Insurance Agent.You must have insurance for your truck.Please
pay me $110.”
4. Service Station Attendant —“Hey
man – you owe $60 for this month’s gasoline.By
the way, your brakes are going to need work soon.”
5. Telephone - “I am the
Phone company employee.If you want to keep that phone, you need to give me $30.”
6. Grocery Store Clerk — “That
will be $130, please.Do you think that will hold you
for the month?”
7. Store Clerk — “Nice
threads!$30.Do you want us to put that on
lay-away?”
Total Expenses $830
Monthly budget $810
Does he have any left? -$20
8. Friend — “Hey,
John, You just got paid, right? Let’s go out tonight.”
8) Ask:Can John go out with his friend?
- Even though John is broke, what protective
factors is he providing for Anna?
- What type(s) of father is John? [legal,
biological, dad, or responsible]
- What did you learn from this activity?
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