PREPARING
CHILDREN FOR PARENTING:
A CURRICULUM APPROACH
Janet
Ruth Falon
reprinted from LIFE SKILLS 101,
Creative Classroom Magazine
(Children's Television Workshop);
January/February 1996
READY-TO-
USE PARENTING ACTIVITIES & LESSONS TO USE WITH CHILDREN & TEENS
Teaching
elementary-school students how to be good parents may sound premature or even
inappropriate. After all, children need large doses of parenting themselves.
But the skills involved in good parenting -- shaping values, negotiating conflict,
communicating, knowing right from wrong, responsibility, patience, and teamwork
-- make for successful friends, students, siblings, colleagues, and spouses. A
caring human being does not equal a good parent. But learning and practicing
these life skills helps to create effective, productive, nurturing, and
accountable human beings who will have the tools for good parenting.
Educating Children for Parenting, a
Philadelphia-based national program that trains teachers in a caring and
nurturing curriculum for their students, teaches that parenting skills will
serve students well not only now but throughout their lives. The goal is for
nurturing children to become nurturing parents.
"Parenting is not an instinct,"
says director Jacquelynn Puriefoy-Brinkley." You
have to learn the skills of parenting." The curriculum, which includes monthly visits of a parent and his or her baby to
the classroom, filters into various educational disciplines.
If you can't arrange for a real baby to come
to your classroom or prefer a less intrusive teaching tool, try a high-tech
solution. Video Baby is a 30-minute videotape that shows two
infants doing what they do best -- crawling, playing and creating havoc! It's a
lighthearted, fun video that is effective in making clear the responsibilities
of parenting.
SCIENCE
Children often turn to their
parents to fix the boo-boos, minor cuts and bruises that don't hurt so much
after consolation and a comforting kiss from Mom or Dad. But some injuries do
need a little more than TLC. This is a good time to teach the basics of first
aid, such as cleaning and bandaging minor injuries, mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation, and how to assist someone who is choking. Students should also
know how to contact their family doctor. They should know the doctor's name and
how to reach the doctor or her answering service.
Nurturing pets
The idea of people needing a
baby to love also holds true for people needing a young pet to love. Ask a
veterinarian or a representative from you r local humane society to visit your
classroom to discuss the number of kittens and puppies adopted versus the
number of adult animals. If any of your students have pets, they may already
understand that there are certain responsibilities that go along with pet
ownership -- feeding, walking, changing litter boxes and cages, bathing.
Have your students prepare a set of
questions to ask the animal expert about basic pet care. They can ask: How
many times a day do I need to feed my pet? How often must he get medical
checkups? Why does my cat sleep so much? Why do I have to keep my pet on a
leash when I walk him? Do all dogs like the same food? How often must I bathe
my pet? Do pets have emotions -- happiness, sadness, depression?
Correlate this discussion with the
responsibilities of caring for a baby. Students will see that the questions
they asked the veterinarian, such as those about feeding and sleep schedules,
are also concerns when caring for a baby.
Carry the animal experience a step further: Put
the names of various animals in a fishbowl and have each student choose one.
Then have children work individually or in groups to research the parenting
techniques of the animal. The students can later present a short report to the
class. Have the class make a chart of all the animals' parenting skills and
techniques, then compare each skill to human parenting skills. What are the
similarities and the differences?
Nutritious meals
Providing food for your
children is one of the most basic parenting skills. To introduce lessons about
nutrition, collect a series of school-lunch menus. Ask students which meals
they think are the most nutritious and why. Then explain to them the basic
nutrition guidelines set by the FDA, such as eating four servings of fruits and
vegetables each day. Explain that their parents put thought into preparing
nutritious meals for the family, being sure to include fruits, vegetables,
protein, and vitamins in their diet. Students will understand that planning and
preparing meals is more than just choosing their favorite foods.
Facing challenges
Until they acquire language
skills, babies learn about their world from their senses. Those with special
needs rely more heavily on their senses. For example, a child who is deaf will
rely more heavily on his sight and sense of touch, more so than a child who is
not challenged by deafness. For older or advanced students, introduce the topic
of basic genetics, focusing on heredity, the appearance of dominant or
secondary traits, mutations, and birth defects. Also, explain the effects
drugs, alcohol, and nicotine can have on an unborn child. Follow with an open
discussion about the challenges to parents of a physically or mentally
challenged child.
SOCIAL STUDIES
Parenting raises all sorts
of gender issues: Is diapering, for instance, a mother or father's job? Should
Mom or Dad teach a child how to throw a softball? And should girls as well as
boys learn how to throw that softball?
Ask students to think of different
gender-related family conflicts that can be debated in the classroom. Students
may even suggest conflicts they've worked through at home,
such as who takes out the garbage, who mows the lawn, who prepares the
meals, who does the cleaning. Then have your students role-play the conflict to
bring it to resolution. Older students can write editorials arguing for or
against a particular stance. If the matter of who takes out the garbage is
still unsettled, students can take home ideas discussed in class (teamwork and
conflict resolution are parenting skills applied here).
Alternative family groups
In addition to the
traditional mother-father-children family unit, there are many different types
of families: single-parent families (since the 1950s, the share of American
children living in mother-only families has quadrupled from 6 percent to 24
percent), blended families, multigenerational families, families with adopted
and/or foster children, and families headed by gay or lesbian couples. Keep in
mind that there are many other kinds of family units.
Some of these family units may at first seem
difficult or awkward to explain, but nontraditional families are growing in
number and should be acknowledged. Children will probably have questions and
comments about families without you prompting them. And most likely there are
students in your class who are part of alternative families. Just be sure to
present the information in a way that young minds can process
Discuss different aspects of various family
units. For example, a positive of multigenerational families might be having
your grandparents close by or always having someone to talk to or play with. A
con can be waiting in line for the bathroom or someone getting that last piece
of cake before you do! Invite into your classroom
representative speakers from different types of families to talk about the
difficulties and rewards of their family units.
Divide your class into small groups. Have
them write lists of the challenges their parents face and how the students help
out. Send older students OT the library to research and then report on various
family units in other cultures, such as kibbutzim in
Some students may feel uncomfortable or
embarrassed about discussing their own family units, so make participation in
these activities voluntary. But help all students feel comfortable by stressing
that all family units are special. Your "family" is who you care for
and care about.
MATH
Parenting is an expensive
proposition. Have students determine the basic costs of caring for a baby. They
can refer to ads in local newspapers or track the costs of a baby at home. Ask
students: How much do diapers cost? Are disposable or cloth diapers more
economical? How many diapers will you need for a week? And what will that cost?
How much does a jar of baby food cost? How many jars will you need to feed a
baby for a month and what will be the cost?
Have the class discuss less costly
alternatives, such as home cooking as opposed to dining out. Set up a basic
weekly budget for taking care of a baby. Entries should include food, clothing,
and day-care and baby-sitting costs.
ART
Visit a local art museum or
borrow reproductions of paintings and drawings from a library or other resource
center. Choose works that feature babies, small children, or scenes of family
life. Use these as a starting point to inspire discussions about parenting.
Conversation topics are unlimited, but creative triggers might include: Does
this child look like he is being well cared for? How? How is this child/family
similar to or different from you/your family? What activity might be going on
outside of the action depicted here?
Ideally, the works you use will feature a
spectrum of family configurations and cultures. After these discussions,
explain the most accepted interpretation of the piece. Then teach your students
about the artists' lives and what inspired their work. Finally, explain the
techniques and media the artists used. Artists whose works depict children and
family life include Varnette Honeywood,
Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Mary Cassatt,
Leroy Campbell, and Pierre Bonnard.
Collage of family love
Have each child create a
poster-size collage that depicts family love. They can use old newspapers,
magazines, and advertisements. Remind students that parental love is not
limited to expressing affection. It also includes a variety of tasks and
responsibilities, such as setting limits, disciplining, teaching, and
listening.
Mount the collages on cardboard and frame
with designs made of construction paper. They make terrific gifts for Mother's
Day or Father's Day.
LANGUAGE ARTS
Parents need to be ready for
just about anything, including medical emergencies. Students can role-play 911
emergency situations. Some students can play the role of the injured party;
others can play the role of the one who seeks help. Act out the various
situations to illustrate the range of emergencies that can occur.
Get the victim to be as specific as possible
about his injuries. Explain vocabulary such as dull, sharp, throbbing,
palpitating, faint, dizzy, and queasy. A precise description helps the doctor
or technician make the most appropriate medical decisions.
Stress the importance of remaining calm and
of speaking slowly and clearly to the 911 operator. Explain that the smoothness
of this exchange will get help to the victim more quickly. Also address the
importance of following directions. Discuss how crucial this is when being
instructed on how to assist the victim until help arrives. Better yet, have a
911 emergency operator assist you in this exercise.
Fairy-tale lives
Use students' favorite
stories and fairy tales to introduce a discussion of how fictitious parents
behave. For example, you might use Charlotte's Web to talk about whether
Mr. and Mrs. Arable were right or wrong in insisting that Fern sell Wilbur to
her relatives on a farm. Have the children imagine how the story might have
unfolded had the parents acted differently. Rewrite part of the story based on
that change. Children can do this activity with "Cinderella" and
other stories that include parents and families. They can also write this as a
scene in a play and act it out.
Activities for young children who are just
learning the ABC's include alphabetizing a baby's typical needs or writing a
lullaby for a child who needs comforting. Children can also learn a lullaby
from a foreign country.
Parents on parenting
Ask students to interview
their parents about parenting. Students can ask: Did you feel prepared for
parenting? What's your greatest challenge as a parent? What did you learn about
parenting from your own parents? What do you as parents expect from your
children?
Based on their interview notes, students can
write a parenting profile. Then ask children to pair up and interview each
other about the ups and downs of being children, and to describe their
partner's responses in a short essay.
When children play house they often envision
themselves with adorable, even-tempered infants, not realizing that infants can
grow into demanding, complex, and sometimes difficult children who present
parents with a tremendous number of challenges. (In fact, many teenage mothers,
when asked why they became mothers, report some variation of "I need a
baby to love me." Unfortunately, they don't realize much love and
attention is required in return.?
The direct goal of a parenting-skills
curriculum for elementary school students is not to prevent teen pregnancy or
child abuse though it may have that effect. If a young child truly comprehends
the enormous difficulties and responsibilities of parenting, he may be better
able to rethink what might otherwise be impulsive, uninformed responses.
As you teach these skills, be sure to remind
students that becoming a parent -- even for mature, responsible adults - isn't
easy and isn't for everyone. Stress that some people make personal, individual
decisions not to have children or to limit the size of their family. They have
a right to make that choice. The values and tools children learning your
classroom will serve them well in their dealings with all people -- and may
even make them especially good teachers!
MORE ON THE SUBJECT
- Video Baby, produced
by Quality Video of Minneapolis. For more information, write:
- Childbirth Graphicsprovides tools and props for teaching parenting. Write:
- The American Red Cross
offers a baby-sitting course that teaches children how to care for other
children. For information, contact your local chapter.
- Safe Sitter understands
that children who may be too young for the responsibilities of
baby-sitting end up doing just that with younger siblings. Classes, based
at hospitals, include accident prevention and benign discipline. Call
1-800-255-4089.
FICTION
· Oh, Boy! Babies!by Alison Cragin Herzig and Jane Lawrence Malin
(Little, Brown), is about 10 boys in an infant-care class who learn how to
comfort and are for babies in order to become baby-sitters.
· Shadow and the Ready Time, by
Patty Sheehan and Maeno (Advocacy Press), teaches
lessons of parenting and family through he adventures of a wolf pup returned
from captivity tot he wild.
· The Mommy Exchange, by Amy Hest (Four Winds), is a tale of two home-swapping friends (one
an only child, the other with twin siblings) curious about the other's home
life.
